Oh my gosh, what am I thinking? Arguing with J. Krishnamurti?
Here is my beef with the old sage. Actually it is a point of contention I have with most of eastern, new age, new thought – er thinking. Here is what Krishnamurti says:
When man becomes aware of the movement of his own thoughts, he will see the division between the thinker and thought, the observer and the observed, the experiencer and the experience. He will discover that this division is an illusion. Then only is there pure observation which is insight without any shadow of the past or of time. This timeless insight brings about a deep, radical mutation in the mind.
Okay, so what is the problem with what he is saying? First off let me state categorically that I agree with everything that he says. It is the absolute truth. So where’s the issue? My issue comes in the first sentence: “When a man becomes aware of the movement of his thoughts.” This sort of statement has been made in various forms for thousands of years. So what’s the issue?
The issue is so obvious that we never question it. What exactly is the movement of thought? More precisely; what is thought itself? This is never explained. In fact, it is left to the ego-mind of the reader to fill in the blank. This turns out to be a very dangerous thing. The role of the ego is to trick us into thinking we “get it” when we don’t really get it. In the process, the ego becomes spiritualized and then we are pretty much lost forever.
The key to understanding thousands of years of eastern thought and spiritual teaching is to confront the question what is thought? And, in Krishnamurti’s case, how do we become aware of its movement? For without this little gem of truth, the rest of what he is saying is not only irrelevant to our growth but dangerous fodder for the ego-mind.
This is where my work comes in. A number of years ago I made a startling discovery that produced and almost immediate awakening in my clients visiting me in my therapy office. Today I call that teaching Witness Thought Transformation™ and it is an amazingly simple practice that makes the movement of thought and the mind obvious. And I don’t just mean in the setting of meditation or some spiritual practice. I mean walking around in everyday life.
Our new age culture is full of people who think they understand what Krishnamurti is saying. This is intellectual understanding. But the fruit of actualizing this revelation comes in the form of better relationships, experiencing joy even when there are problems, and a personal quality of life that others enjoy about us. If we are instead still in the drama and the struggle then clearly there is no awareness of the movement of thought.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Sunday, June 07, 2009
Conference Call
Saturday's Conference Call set a record for us. Not only did we have a lively group on the call, but we had an overwhelming number of people who asked for the download. So here is a link to download the call!
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
Mastering Thought
The Buddah said, “All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, We make our world.”
Too many in our day have totally misunderstood what the Buddah is saying. What he is pointing to are the thoughts that are already there. But the ego mind wants to take this principle and rather than do the work of cleaning up the mind, it wants a new Cadillac or relationship, or more money so we need to learn the “Secret.”
This is not the truth at all. The Buddah says, “If a man's mind becomes pure, his surroundings will also become pure.” “We are what we think. A wise man, recognizing that the world is but an illusion, does not act as if it is real, so he escapes the suffering. We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.” So the emphasis is to purify the mind, not layer goals onto an already polluted mind.
Too many in our day have totally misunderstood what the Buddah is saying. What he is pointing to are the thoughts that are already there. But the ego mind wants to take this principle and rather than do the work of cleaning up the mind, it wants a new Cadillac or relationship, or more money so we need to learn the “Secret.”
This is not the truth at all. The Buddah says, “If a man's mind becomes pure, his surroundings will also become pure.” “We are what we think. A wise man, recognizing that the world is but an illusion, does not act as if it is real, so he escapes the suffering. We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.” So the emphasis is to purify the mind, not layer goals onto an already polluted mind.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
A Stroke of Insight
Every now and then something really important appears on the internet. Sometimes it takes me a long time to find it. But when I do, I want to share it. You must watch this video and then think how it applies to Witness Thought Transformation. Click the title and have your life changed!
All my best,
Mark
All my best,
Mark
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Buddhists Blunder
There is a wide spread belief that Buddhists can do no wrong. This latest bunch of violence aimed at Tibetan liberation is wrong headed and potentially exposes Lama Buddhism as a fraud. But not so fast! The Dalai Lama has stepped up to the plate and shown wisdom in denouncing any form of violence. In fact he has threatened to resign if the nonsense doesn’t stop.
So what is going on here? Should we all want social justice? Don’t we have the right to fight for world peace? If you want to live from your ego, of course you have all kinds of rights. This reminds me of that well worn phrase; “Be the Change.”
Being the change means changing from the inside out. It does not mean rushing to the Chinese border and having a bloody confrontation with their army.
Shame on those Buddhists. They should know better!
Monday, March 03, 2008
The Super Bowl of Life: Go Deep, Go Long
Yes, this is inspired by the Giant’s Super Bowl win. They started the season with losses and came into the playoffs as tremendous underdogs. But they won. We think of going deep and going long as tactics used to win football games. Having a running game is important, but these days it usually serves to set up the passing game. So every team must be able to go deep and go long to be a serious threat.
Life is very much like that. In order to win, we must go deep and stay at a depth for a long time. Today, many of us are confusing money, success, and achievement with depth. When I tell people that they need to go deep and go long, I am often told that the message is “off-putting.” Few want to answer the call to depth. Many of us have confused depth with being very serious about our superficiality.
So I wanted to put this going deep into perspective. Perhaps some sobering facts might serve to motivate.
Every year over two thousand children, most under the age of five, die as a result of child abuse. 18% of us are alcoholics or alcohol abusers while 8% are drug users. 816,000 of us attempt suicide every year and about 33,000 of us succeed. If ever there was a case for going deep, those statistics tell it all. But I could go on. I could go on to the divorce rate, teen pregnancy, and a depressing number of other topics.
The bottom line is that the world we live in is not in good shape. It is not in good shape because people are acting out their pain. We lie, murder, we are greedy, judgmental, intolerant, materialistic. By the way, the murder rate is about 5.7 for every 100,000 people.
Now you are saying to yourself, that’s not me. I’m not a murderer. I don’t hit my kids. It is what happens inside of us that makes all the difference. The world on the outside will only change if we each individually take responsibility for what is on the inside. But we don’t want to look inside. Why? Because there is pain in there! Inside of many seemingly very nice people are thoughts of violence, hostility, anger, rage, hatred, and enormous judgment, not to mention fear and an overwhelming sense of rejection.
Witness Thought Transformation™ frees us from the tyranny of thought and releases us into the flow of life. From this vantage point we can witness the pain instead of becoming overwhelmed by it. Witnessing our thoughts takes us deep and long in a way that is not burdensome, but is uplifting and fulfilling.
I want to tell you the benefit of going deep and going long. It is a life of peace, free of struggle, without the need to become something or achieve something to feel like a complete being. Mastering Thought releases us from drama, ego patterns, and the need to prove something. With clean motivation, we can now step into the world and make a real difference.
I am a therapist. I know your pain. I have seen every kind of misery. I know the only way out is going deep and going long.
Do you find this message “off-putting?” Good! The more uncomfortable the better. No one in the history of human kind has ever gone deep and gone long until they were very uncomfortable with going nowhere.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
The Witness Consciousness Two-Step
I am finding that Witness Consciousness has two distinct steps to it. The first of course is the initial thought watching. This leads to a huge breakthrough in awareness and a “knowing” that is easy to experience. But then I have observed that without practice people go back into their ego and the drama of the world. The knowing that comes with the initial breakthrough never leaves however.
This requires step number two. In a way, this is more work than the first step. Practice! Yes, we need to keep watching our thoughts in order to stop the slide back into the ego mind and the patters of unconsciousness that we all have. This requires a sustained effort at “watching” over a period of a year or two until it becomes second nature. That’s why building a community of watchers is so important in order to support the practice.
Does anyone else have thoughts on this two-step process?
This requires step number two. In a way, this is more work than the first step. Practice! Yes, we need to keep watching our thoughts in order to stop the slide back into the ego mind and the patters of unconsciousness that we all have. This requires a sustained effort at “watching” over a period of a year or two until it becomes second nature. That’s why building a community of watchers is so important in order to support the practice.
Does anyone else have thoughts on this two-step process?
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Open Mouth insert Britney
Lord I apologize, but I just can't resist a comment on the recent Dr. Phil, Britney Spears debacle. For those of you who have been lost on a Pacific Island for the last few weeks, let me bring you up to date. Britney, it seems, had some sort of mental issue and ended up in Cedars-Sinai for what I assumed was a 72 hour hold. This is what we call in the shrink business a 5150. Whatever it was, the family reportedly asked Dr. Phil as a personal favor to visit her in the hospital and see if he could lend her a hand.
Two things happened that prompt my need to comment. First, Dr. Phil made plans for a TV show featuring Britney's misery. Second, he issued a statement to the press on leaving the hospital that assessed her mental condition. Both of these actions were huge mistakes and an incredible breach of trust in any one's book.
Let me just say that Dr. Phil is no longer licensed as a psychologist. So he can trample all over some one's privacy and confidentiality with impunity. So he is not subject to sanction by some licensing board somewhere. He is a private citizen behaving in what ever way one behaves these days.
But let me comment on the two things he did. First of all, planning a TV show was grossly premature. The respectful thing to do would be to tuck that idea in Dr. Phil's back pocket until such time as Britney had recovered. Then a show about the whole affair would be helpful to people going through similar issues. But to plan a show as some kind of intervention is a little like allowing Frontline to do a special on your wife's visit to the gynecologist. All this could do is further Britney's pain and embarrassment.
Secondly and perhaps equal in importance was Dr. Phil's commenting to the press. The bottom line is that any comment is a gross breach of faith and trust. He should have kept his mouth shut if he really wanted to help. He should have known that anything he said would have just made the situation worse. I understand that as I write this, he is vehemently defending what he said. Well, if he had remained silent, there would be nothing to defend.
As a licensed therapist, I take my legal and ethical obligation for confidentiality seriously. But as a human being I know when I am stepping one someone else to move up the ladder. Dr. Phil may not have set out to exploit the situation with Briney, but he did - pure and simple.
The Secret without The Sacred
Life has its ups and downs. Life has its pleasure and pain. But it is all the Divine Expression. I hate to use the word God since so many have a reaction to it, so let me use the term the Divine Expression. The Divine Expression is life. There is nothing in existence that is not the Divine Expression. What we like is the Divine Expression. What we hate is the Divine Expression. Everything – the infinity of the present moment, the expanse of the universe, the neighbor that irritates us – all is the Divine Expression.
To say that Life is Sacred is accurate. It is like the ocean. The ocean has depth, but on its surface there are waves and swells, highs and lows. When the ocean is active there are white caps and steep drops to the furrow between the waves. Regardless of the surface of the ocean, all is still the ocean. To say that waves are the ocean and the troughs between waves are not the ocean is nonsensical. The ocean is the ocean and the Divine Expression is the Divine Expression.
Our lives have highs and lows – pleasure and pain – blessings and misfortunes. All of these things are the Divine Expression. The question here is really our willingness to allow the Divine to be the Divine. This leads me to the Secret, the Law of Attraction and all of that.
Without the Sacred, the Secret, goal setting, and attracting wealth – all moves us away from the Divine Expression of Now. They become the ego’s efforts to gain the upper hand, get an advantage. Until we realize the Divine, all of these other efforts move us away from What Is. In fact, it is a clever way the ego has of saying “no” to the Divine. “Yes, Lord, I realize the present moment is the Divine Expression, but I am waiting for a better moment. Thank you very much.” It is hard to express in words the arrogance of this attitude.
The Divine Expression can be realized through surrender, radical humility, and true acceptance of What Is. These are characteristics that are totally foreign to our thinking. So we want the Secret without paying any price for the Sacred. Surrender, humility, and acceptance don’t help us advance or get what we want. After all, if God didn’t want us to get what we want, why would he give us two big hands to grab it with? Right?
The fact that the Secret is secondary to the Sacred as a principle of life should be self-evident, but sadly it’s not. To discover the Sacred the destruction of everything “we” hold dear must take place. The false self, the ego and its tricks must be exposed for what they are – diversionary tactics.
There is sweetness to the Sacred. It satisfies fully. Mastering Thought through Witness Thought Transformation™ opens the portal to the Scared. Without the Sacred we are convinced the problem with our minds is negative thought and self limiting beliefs. Through the lens that we get from Witnessing our Thoughts, we realize the problem is the mind itself and our fascination with thought.
Can we still set goals? Work hard for our dreams? Try to change the world – our personal world? Of course. But paradoxically, there is something about realizing the Perfection of the Sacred that makes the effort all the more satisfying. It’s like a horse and carriage. The Sacred is the horse that pulls the carriage containing the Secret. You can’t have one without the other. The Sacred is the Secret of the Secret.
To say that Life is Sacred is accurate. It is like the ocean. The ocean has depth, but on its surface there are waves and swells, highs and lows. When the ocean is active there are white caps and steep drops to the furrow between the waves. Regardless of the surface of the ocean, all is still the ocean. To say that waves are the ocean and the troughs between waves are not the ocean is nonsensical. The ocean is the ocean and the Divine Expression is the Divine Expression.
Our lives have highs and lows – pleasure and pain – blessings and misfortunes. All of these things are the Divine Expression. The question here is really our willingness to allow the Divine to be the Divine. This leads me to the Secret, the Law of Attraction and all of that.
Without the Sacred, the Secret, goal setting, and attracting wealth – all moves us away from the Divine Expression of Now. They become the ego’s efforts to gain the upper hand, get an advantage. Until we realize the Divine, all of these other efforts move us away from What Is. In fact, it is a clever way the ego has of saying “no” to the Divine. “Yes, Lord, I realize the present moment is the Divine Expression, but I am waiting for a better moment. Thank you very much.” It is hard to express in words the arrogance of this attitude.
The Divine Expression can be realized through surrender, radical humility, and true acceptance of What Is. These are characteristics that are totally foreign to our thinking. So we want the Secret without paying any price for the Sacred. Surrender, humility, and acceptance don’t help us advance or get what we want. After all, if God didn’t want us to get what we want, why would he give us two big hands to grab it with? Right?
The fact that the Secret is secondary to the Sacred as a principle of life should be self-evident, but sadly it’s not. To discover the Sacred the destruction of everything “we” hold dear must take place. The false self, the ego and its tricks must be exposed for what they are – diversionary tactics.
There is sweetness to the Sacred. It satisfies fully. Mastering Thought through Witness Thought Transformation™ opens the portal to the Scared. Without the Sacred we are convinced the problem with our minds is negative thought and self limiting beliefs. Through the lens that we get from Witnessing our Thoughts, we realize the problem is the mind itself and our fascination with thought.
Can we still set goals? Work hard for our dreams? Try to change the world – our personal world? Of course. But paradoxically, there is something about realizing the Perfection of the Sacred that makes the effort all the more satisfying. It’s like a horse and carriage. The Sacred is the horse that pulls the carriage containing the Secret. You can’t have one without the other. The Sacred is the Secret of the Secret.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
The ego is: The Grinch that Stole Christmas
“Peace on Earth, good will toward men . . .” so says Luke 2:14. And this is that season, isn’t it? Of course, as we look around the earth we see very little of either. Why is that? Why is it so hard to find peace and good will? Oh to be sure, there are many who feign peace and goodwill. They appear to be the “good” people, but too often it is an act; an ego defense. So good and evil are really two sides of the same coin- some sort of compensation for personal, societal, or national pain.
So where did human kind go wrong? How did the wheels come off the world’s bus in such a profound way?
Believe it or not, it all starts around 3 to 5 years of age in each individual. As we learn language we develop two distinct styles of communication. One style is designed to communicate with other people. But the real problem lies in a type of speech called “ego-centric” speech. What is ego-centric speech? It is a running commentary that children of around two years of age have that describes what they are doing and why they are doing it. At this age, the child is acting on impulses from the limbic system and nonverbal emotional messages from the limbic and right hemispheric formations. The child assumes there must be some logical explanation as to why they are following these impulses. So they use their newly discovered talent for language to explain why they are doing what they are doing. In other words, ego-centric communication is an elaborate form of rationalization for the ongoing behavior that is being dictated by more primitive and nonverbal parts of the brain.
Well, things get pretty scary at around 3 to 5 years of age. This ego-centric communication becomes internalized. This overt thinking gradually becomes internalized eventually becoming completely hidden to everyone but the commentator, a five year old child. At this point the child is not only speaking in words, but is thinking in words. This ego-centered speech becomes more and more complex and more and more addictive to the point where as adults we cannot shut off the constant commentary.
What’s at issue here is not that we talk to ourselves, but the quality of the communication. The impetus for this internalized view of the world is impulsive, emotional, and self serving. The quality of this does not change with age. The internal commentator is concerned with one and only one thing – self enhancement!
This is bad enough, but then something even more sinister happens. Because this internal commentator is so ubiquitous and continuous, we make a fatal assumption. We believe that this internal voice is me! By identifying with this voice and giving it credence we become what only can be described as “lost souls.” We are forever in the grip of the emotional distortions of a five year old who is concerned only with him or herself.
This internalized ego-centric speech becomes what many writers and teachers call the “ego-mind,” the “false self,” the “thinker.” It’s proud, it’s arrogant, it’s ignorant, and most everything it says is bullshit. It is easy to see why there is no peace on earth or goodwill toward men.
Witness Thought Transformation™ will set the world free from the voice in the head that is masquerading as “me.” It is simple, it is fast, and it is a revolution. To hear some testimonials about it, go to my home page and set yourself free from ego-centric speech.
So where did human kind go wrong? How did the wheels come off the world’s bus in such a profound way?
Believe it or not, it all starts around 3 to 5 years of age in each individual. As we learn language we develop two distinct styles of communication. One style is designed to communicate with other people. But the real problem lies in a type of speech called “ego-centric” speech. What is ego-centric speech? It is a running commentary that children of around two years of age have that describes what they are doing and why they are doing it. At this age, the child is acting on impulses from the limbic system and nonverbal emotional messages from the limbic and right hemispheric formations. The child assumes there must be some logical explanation as to why they are following these impulses. So they use their newly discovered talent for language to explain why they are doing what they are doing. In other words, ego-centric communication is an elaborate form of rationalization for the ongoing behavior that is being dictated by more primitive and nonverbal parts of the brain.
Well, things get pretty scary at around 3 to 5 years of age. This ego-centric communication becomes internalized. This overt thinking gradually becomes internalized eventually becoming completely hidden to everyone but the commentator, a five year old child. At this point the child is not only speaking in words, but is thinking in words. This ego-centered speech becomes more and more complex and more and more addictive to the point where as adults we cannot shut off the constant commentary.
What’s at issue here is not that we talk to ourselves, but the quality of the communication. The impetus for this internalized view of the world is impulsive, emotional, and self serving. The quality of this does not change with age. The internal commentator is concerned with one and only one thing – self enhancement!
This is bad enough, but then something even more sinister happens. Because this internal commentator is so ubiquitous and continuous, we make a fatal assumption. We believe that this internal voice is me! By identifying with this voice and giving it credence we become what only can be described as “lost souls.” We are forever in the grip of the emotional distortions of a five year old who is concerned only with him or herself.
This internalized ego-centric speech becomes what many writers and teachers call the “ego-mind,” the “false self,” the “thinker.” It’s proud, it’s arrogant, it’s ignorant, and most everything it says is bullshit. It is easy to see why there is no peace on earth or goodwill toward men.
Witness Thought Transformation™ will set the world free from the voice in the head that is masquerading as “me.” It is simple, it is fast, and it is a revolution. To hear some testimonials about it, go to my home page and set yourself free from ego-centric speech.
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Learning Annex
I did my regularly scheduled Learning Annex workshop yesterday at the Creative Chakra Spa in Marina Del Rey. As always Sandy was a wonderful host. We had a great group. Many seemed to get it. It was my first opportunity to use my revise power point program. I liked the new format and it seemed to have a better impact. Those of you who attended, feel free to comment here.
New Name
Hi everyone. I have changed the name of my blog to more closely relate to what I am up top these days. Those of you who follow my work know about my thought watching technique. I call it Witness Thought Transformation™ or WTT. Also, it’s time to make this blog less preachy/teachy and more newsy. So enjoy the new format and emphasis!
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Thinking vs. Knowing
"The Most Direct Means To Eternal Bliss" is the name of the book by Michael Langford. It is a quirky little book, but boy is it powerful. The ideas are expressed directly and to the point. I have to thank Del Martinis for calling it to my attention. In the book, Langford makes the point that Thinking and our addiction to thinking have convinced us that conceptual knowing is the same thing as insight-awareness and direct knowing.
If you study your mental activity carefully, you will soon see that there is a distinction between this knowing-insight-awareness and thinking or conceptualizing. Another distinction that we might make is the difference between thinking and intuitive knowing. When we intuit, we just know. There is no internal verbalization or dialogue, we just know.
I have long come to the conclusion that what we intuit is the only thing of value in our heads. Thinking is of no intrinsic value. Oh, it has its place. It is a tool, kind of like an index finger. My left index finger has immense value and utility, but I would never ask for its advice. However we are skirting the real problem with thought.
The voice in our head that we think is me talking to me is not a me that lives in a familiar "I" position in the head. That "me" is a concept Langford says, "If your native language is English and you speak in English and you write in English, those same English words in your mind are thoughts."
This "me" that speaks to us from inside is nothing more than an artifact of the ego that produces a thing we call ourselves. What is humorous about looking at it the way Langford words it is that if you are a native Spanish speaker, your self is probably Mexican. While, since I am an English speaker, my self is an American.
This is really getting absurd if you think about it. How can this so called self be linked to a culture? It can't be. That would make no sense. So the entire idea of a self linked to the voice in our heads collapses and the ego is exposed for what it is - a fraud masquerading as a so-called self.
I had never thought of this English/Spanish twist until I read Langford's book and started playing with his English in your head idea. But it sure helped put into perspective this lie that humanity has lived with. Finally, thought itself has no inherent intelligence. It is a maze of concepts that the ego uses to keep us trapped in the belief that we are the ultimate concept - a self.
The sad fact is that this deception keeps us from knowing who we really are which is the One - the SELF.
If you study your mental activity carefully, you will soon see that there is a distinction between this knowing-insight-awareness and thinking or conceptualizing. Another distinction that we might make is the difference between thinking and intuitive knowing. When we intuit, we just know. There is no internal verbalization or dialogue, we just know.
I have long come to the conclusion that what we intuit is the only thing of value in our heads. Thinking is of no intrinsic value. Oh, it has its place. It is a tool, kind of like an index finger. My left index finger has immense value and utility, but I would never ask for its advice. However we are skirting the real problem with thought.
The voice in our head that we think is me talking to me is not a me that lives in a familiar "I" position in the head. That "me" is a concept Langford says, "If your native language is English and you speak in English and you write in English, those same English words in your mind are thoughts."
This "me" that speaks to us from inside is nothing more than an artifact of the ego that produces a thing we call ourselves. What is humorous about looking at it the way Langford words it is that if you are a native Spanish speaker, your self is probably Mexican. While, since I am an English speaker, my self is an American.
This is really getting absurd if you think about it. How can this so called self be linked to a culture? It can't be. That would make no sense. So the entire idea of a self linked to the voice in our heads collapses and the ego is exposed for what it is - a fraud masquerading as a so-called self.
I had never thought of this English/Spanish twist until I read Langford's book and started playing with his English in your head idea. But it sure helped put into perspective this lie that humanity has lived with. Finally, thought itself has no inherent intelligence. It is a maze of concepts that the ego uses to keep us trapped in the belief that we are the ultimate concept - a self.
The sad fact is that this deception keeps us from knowing who we really are which is the One - the SELF.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
SuccessTracs
The last couple of months have been very busy. I want to announce the availability of my inteview with SuccessTracs. You can click on the link to the right to get a free copy of the mp3 file. It ran about an hour. In it I reveal what happened to me that led to all of this and my work on the voice in the head. It really is the story of how Witness Thought Tranformation was born and how it works. I hope you listen to it and give me any feedback or ask any questions.
In case you have never heard of SuccessTracs, it is part of Harv Eker's Peak Potentials organization.
In case you have never heard of SuccessTracs, it is part of Harv Eker's Peak Potentials organization.
Saturday, September 01, 2007
A Crisis of Ego
“There is such terrible darkness within me as if everything is dead. It has been like this more or less since the beginning of the work.” Imagine yourself feeling like you had been called of God to do a Holy Work only to be filled with darkness from the effort. The person quoted above is shockingly Mother Teresa from a recently published book that, against her wishes, exposes her private letters.
Ironically, I have often posed the following question in my workshops, “Did Mother Teresa minister to the poor in India because she was called or because she was trying to prove to her father or mother that she was good enough?”
This new book answers my rhetorical question – she was called and then ego needs took over and it became about whether or not she was good enough. She recounts in her letters that after Pope Pius XII died, she prayed to him for proof that God was pleased with her work. In short she wanted approval.
Those of you familiar with my Lion/Unicorn model of relationships you can indentify Mother Teresa right away. She is a Lion. While Unicorns are seeking safety, Lions seek approval. Where does this come from? When we are children, we all have unmet emotional needs. Unicorns need more safety than they seem to get, while Lions need more approval from parental interaction than they perceive they get. When we grow up, the burden of supplying these emotional needs is transferred to our spouse, pastor, therapist, God, or whoever meets the frame of reference of that parent in our lives. This is a trick of the limbic system in the brain, the monkey brain. It cannot tell the difference between Dad or God or Mom or one's wife. So the burden of emotional fulfillment gets put on someone in our lives who represents that early parental relationship.
So for Mother Teresa, what started as a “call of God” turned into the effort of her ego-mind to fulfill her unmet emotional need for approval. This twist of purpose was without a doubt the source of her experience of internal darkness. Her work was hijacked by her limbic system – that ego-mind. And as we know from scripture, that work is like dirty rags in the side of the Lord. Ironically, the very Lord she sought to serve became the parent from which she also sought approval thereby negating the fulfillment of doing the work with pure motives and innocent perception.
The author of this tell all book argues that the “depth of Mother Teresa’s spiritual suffering increases her saintliness.” No, in fact it increased her unconsciousness. The revelations in Mother Teresa’s letters show that the “wages of sin is death.” In other words, when we don’t get it and allow ego motives to pollute our lives, spiritual death is the result, and darkness ensues.
The lesson of the life of Mother Teresa is that good works don’t make us a saint – awareness does. She was unaware of her ego motives. They took over the work, and suffering resulted. The story of Mother Teresa therefore becomes a cautionary tale and another example of how the “no pain- no gain” philosophy at the center of religion is a blind alley that leads to spiritual death.
Only by becoming aware of the tricks of the ego-mind can we truly inherit the life laid out before us and do the work we are meant to do. It is a life free of hidden motives and agendas, free of the need to prove ourselves worthy.
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
EastWest Book Store
I wanted to take a moment to thank all of you who came to my workshop Sunday at the EastWest book store in Mountain View, California. What a fantastic book store! Wow. We had a great group and I look forward to corresponding with you all in the future. The bookstore itself was well prepared and they made me feel most welcome. Even the introduction I received was well done. So thanks to EastWest for a most successful event!
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
The World of the Flesh vs.The World of the Spirit
I am currently writing a book about awakening as it is explained in the New Testament. One of the puzzles of Paul’s writings is his tendency to have one foot in one world and the other foot in an entirely different world. Elaine Pagels explores this dilemma in her book, The Gnostic Paul. These two worlds that Paul speaks about are the world according to the “flesh” and the world according to the “Spirit.” What are these two worlds?
The world of the Spirit seems obvious. In us and all around us is this invisible “Kingdom” that we can’t seem to see, but the mystics of the ages have seen it plainly. The world of the flesh is very different. The Greek word that is translated as “flesh” means literally “the meat that hangs on the bones.” Paul uses this term to mean that which is superficial – those things we see on the surface or what is obvious. We are in the world of the flesh when we are taking things literally. Paul tries to explain this in Roman’s chapter 4. Paul says that if we look at Abraham according to the flesh, or in other words the standards of the external world, we see that his “works” make him a man among men. Abraham was a success by all earthly measures. What are works? In the Greek of Paul’s letters, it means labors or doing.
But Paul goes on to say that according to the world of the Spirit none of this mattered. What he did as a man was of no account. His material accomplishments were of no importance. It was his connection to Spiritual reality that made him “justified by faith.” Faith by the way does not mean convincing ourselves of something we hope. It means confidence. When we turn inward and discover the Truth of who we are, we become confident because it is knowledge that cannot be taken away since it grows out of direct experience. If you eat hot peppers you don’t need to hope they are spicy. If you never have another pepper, your faith in their spiciness will be unshaken. This is what Paul is saying about Abraham. His certainty of the world according to the Spirit set in motion the process of spiritual vindication very much like a condemned man being acquitted. I am using Paul here since it is all over my desk at the moment. But I could have referred to Ramana Maharshi, the Buddha, or any number of awakened teachers who have said the same thing using other words.
Self-realization or enlightenment or whatever it is to have the Truth revealed to us comes by Grace. Paul hammers this point. It is a gift the timing of which cannot be calculated in the world of the flesh. To prepare for the ultimate, we are told by sages for thousands of years to surrender, to give up. Only when the false self collapses will the true Self be revealed.
One of the concepts I try to get across in my counseling sessions and workshops is the idea of Presence. If we go back to our catechism or whatever religious training we may have had, we are taught that God has three characteristics: all powerful, all knowing, and Omni-present. Omni-present means infinitely present. A good way to think about this is that we, human beings, are in existence, but God is Existence Itself. The point of view of Existence Itself is the world of the Spirit that Paul talks about.
Think of it another way. Your life is a wonderful novel called “You.” But who or what is reading the story of “You?” It certainly can’t be the little “you” that you think you are. From the point of view of “you,” life is filled with ups and downs: politics, pathos, and pathology. This is the world of the flesh.
From the Reader's point of view, nothing in the novel is actually real, serious, or threatening. That is the world of the Spirit. That’s why Paul tells us that from this point of view there is no law, there is no condemnation, and there is no death. Just because the character in a novel dies, it does mean the reader dies too!
In our spiritual pursuits and practices, we constantly straddle the line between these two worlds. We need to clearly distinguish what practices are of the flesh or are focused on the external, superficial world and what practices take us deep into and closer to the world of the Spirit. Below are several comparative examples of each. My criteria for making these distinctions are simple. Is the purpose of the practice to enhance the world of the flesh or deepen one’s experience of the Spirit?
The World of the Flesh/ The World of the Spirit
Goal setting/ Surrender
Law of Attraction/ Non-attachment
Affirmations/ Attention to what is
Hypnotism, reprogramming,
psychotherapy, mental manipulation/ Deep insight, witnessing, self-observation
Prayer, supplication/Radical acceptance
Self improvement/No-self, self-transcendence
Creating, co-creating reality/Seeing reality
Individual human potential/Oneness, Unity
New Age practices/Stillness beyond fascination
7 habits, success principles/Living in Harmony with what is
Positive thinking/Disidentification with thinking
So we need to make a decision. Are we going to live in the world of the flesh or the Spirit? The world of the flesh produces a spiritual practice based on self enhancement. In other words, the target of our spiritual practice is the betterment of the objective world of form – our life situation. But there is a hopeless truth in this. The destination is death. The story of “you” always ends with a funeral. So if you have worked diligently for a better "story," it pretty much always ends the same way.
For the Reader of the story of “you” with feet planted firmly in the world according to the Spirit, there is abundant, never ending, everlasting life. Because when the pages of the book are closed, the Reader opens another story and another in a never ending saga of Life unfolding; the Divine Expression revealing its own Self to Itself through the story of Bob, and Suzy, and Benedict Arnold, and the bird on my roof and the scorpion in the desert and the rock.
The Reader is our Natural State. It is who we really are. The world of the flesh will never satisfy. Meanwhile the world according to the Spirit is life and peace.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Being More Present
So many people these days are telling me they need to be more present. They need to be in the now moment. They want to be grounded in the present moment. I tell them something that often times surprises them. You are present. You are the very definition of presence. The problem is that we have become experts at leaving presence.
The key to staying present is so simple it is absurd. Pay attention! When we pay attention, we are present. We are here. We experience now. So how is it we stop paying attention to now? That is the simple part – we think. When we are thinking, we can only be thinking of the remembered past or the imagined future. So by definition, thinking takes us away from presence. So when we go up in our heads and start believing in and identifying with our thoughts we go away. It is just that simple.
Of course there is a terrible price that we pay and that is suffering. For when we go into our heads, one thought leads to the next. Soon when are into a story then into drama. This results in feeling like hell inside. We want to get out of hell, so we struggle. We react, we fight, and we beg God to end our suffering. We turn to drugs and alcohol. We want a different sex partner. We desperately rearrange the deck chairs on the Titanic in an effort to change our internal state. None of this was necessary if we had only stayed present.
Thinking is this terrible compulsion we have to take the peace of the present moment and turn it into an intolerable experience. Such is the human condition. Oh, and by the way, we are going to turn it into an intolerable experience for those closest to us also.
Try this experiment for a moment. Stay present and search for the past. Where is the past? Is it in your current experience? What were you doing five minutes ago? Is that in your current experience? No, of course not. Five minutes ago is a function of your head. Inside your head is this psychological experience we call the remembered past. It doesn’t exist in the present moment.
Now staying present, try to find the future? Look around. Do you see the future? Did you know that in the now there never is a future? The future literally and figuratively never happens. Now is the only thing that ever happens. Try as you might, you can only experience the past or the future in your head. Therefore it is not real!
In our current experience, there seem to be what we call memories of the past. Who cares about them? The present is so overwhelming, such a perfect Divine expression, who would ever want to waste the present by recreating the past in their head? The same thing with the future. The imagined future is a place of fear and stress. Who wants to leave “the peace that passes all understanding” to start speculating about an uncertain future? Does anticipation affect the future? It gives us the illusion of control. But ultimately we have no real control. It is the trick of the ego-mind to think so, and yet it grips us, moment by moment.
The past and the future do not exist in the present. But there is something wonderful that does. It is the Presence of Life. The Truth of what we have always been looking for. The fulfillment that was supposed to be just around the corner is here now, if we will only look now. Want to be more present? Pay very close attention to what is. Marvel at its beauty and perfection with all of its adventure, and pathos, and pain, and joy. Life might just turn out to be the heaven you were longing for.
The key to staying present is so simple it is absurd. Pay attention! When we pay attention, we are present. We are here. We experience now. So how is it we stop paying attention to now? That is the simple part – we think. When we are thinking, we can only be thinking of the remembered past or the imagined future. So by definition, thinking takes us away from presence. So when we go up in our heads and start believing in and identifying with our thoughts we go away. It is just that simple.
Of course there is a terrible price that we pay and that is suffering. For when we go into our heads, one thought leads to the next. Soon when are into a story then into drama. This results in feeling like hell inside. We want to get out of hell, so we struggle. We react, we fight, and we beg God to end our suffering. We turn to drugs and alcohol. We want a different sex partner. We desperately rearrange the deck chairs on the Titanic in an effort to change our internal state. None of this was necessary if we had only stayed present.
Thinking is this terrible compulsion we have to take the peace of the present moment and turn it into an intolerable experience. Such is the human condition. Oh, and by the way, we are going to turn it into an intolerable experience for those closest to us also.
Try this experiment for a moment. Stay present and search for the past. Where is the past? Is it in your current experience? What were you doing five minutes ago? Is that in your current experience? No, of course not. Five minutes ago is a function of your head. Inside your head is this psychological experience we call the remembered past. It doesn’t exist in the present moment.
Now staying present, try to find the future? Look around. Do you see the future? Did you know that in the now there never is a future? The future literally and figuratively never happens. Now is the only thing that ever happens. Try as you might, you can only experience the past or the future in your head. Therefore it is not real!
In our current experience, there seem to be what we call memories of the past. Who cares about them? The present is so overwhelming, such a perfect Divine expression, who would ever want to waste the present by recreating the past in their head? The same thing with the future. The imagined future is a place of fear and stress. Who wants to leave “the peace that passes all understanding” to start speculating about an uncertain future? Does anticipation affect the future? It gives us the illusion of control. But ultimately we have no real control. It is the trick of the ego-mind to think so, and yet it grips us, moment by moment.
The past and the future do not exist in the present. But there is something wonderful that does. It is the Presence of Life. The Truth of what we have always been looking for. The fulfillment that was supposed to be just around the corner is here now, if we will only look now. Want to be more present? Pay very close attention to what is. Marvel at its beauty and perfection with all of its adventure, and pathos, and pain, and joy. Life might just turn out to be the heaven you were longing for.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Life Happens - Action vs. Doing
For some time now there has been a popular bumper sticker that says, “(Blank) happens.” We all know what goes in the blank. If we place the words “Life” in the blank, we get “Life happens.” Let me ask you a question, is Life “happening” to you or are you “doing” Life? This is an important distinction since in the one instance we are being lived by Life. In the other instance we have control over Life. This is action vs. doing.
In the dictionary, action is a noun that is defined by words like exertion, process, or activity. Doing is always defined with an infinitive “to” in front of it. The “to” takes the place of a subject or person that is doing the doing. Being the “doer” brings with it an enormous responsibility. We have to anticipate the coming of each moment. This means we must constantly be projecting ourselves into an imagined future. We must get ready, we must take control, and we must “make it happen.” The illusion of our efforts is that sometimes this does seem to work. Work harder – you make more money, if you are vigilant, you avoid accidents, if you look forward, you see obstacles.
However, the doer lives a miserable life. The doer lives with the illusion of control that the world is run by cause and effect. If we want the kind of life we want, we must constantly be the cause. If things don’t turn out the way we want, we must have failed. Or we resort to saying, “(blank) happens.” Doing requires a “doer” doing the doing. The ego wants to take credit for this doing. We point with pride to our doing. After all, don’t we all believe that, “my doing is better than your doing?” Of course, the illusion of doing collapses when you are run over by a truck or are diagnosed with cancer or your child is killed by a stray bullet. Where was the cause and effect in that?
The illusion of doing ran smack into a road block back in the 80’s. It happened in a Berkley research lab where scientists found that our awareness of doing happens a half second after action has actually started. Literally, what was discovered was that action is taken and then the ego-mind steps up to take credit for the effort.
Try this little experiment. Try to predict the exact moment you will next stand up or sit down or go the kitchen or scratch your elbow. Really analyze the mental process that goes into making an effort to take action at any given time. Unless you love the “doer’s” lie, you will discover even though you planned action or thought about taking it, decision, and action are never simultaneous. What actually happens is that we discover ourselves in the process of taking action. You may have been thinking of getting up or scratching, you may have planned to start the car, but the actual moment of volition cannot be experienced!
Life happens. Life does not need a doer. The doer is an illusion. For all of the enormous head of steam we build up to conquer Life, to control it, to live it, it is all for not. The shoe is on the other foot. The doer is being done, and there is nothing any of us can “do” about it.
Action happens. When we take action, we don’t rehearse, we don’t plan. We don’t anticipate. Action is the spontaneous expression of Life. It will be expressed. Action has an intuitive sense about it once you get the illusion of the “doer” out of the way.
But does that mean we just give up? No, we can’t give up. We are going to do what we do. Action will happen. Life will happen. But what this all does is to put us in a situation where it is no longer quite so serious. Life is an “E” ticket that comes with the illusion of doing. What could be more exciting! When we read a great novel, we become identified with the hero or heroine. Now, that makes for an exciting read. However, we never forget that we are the reader. In Life, we have forgotten who we really are. And in doing so, we have become invested in our version of an outcome. The illusory “doer” emerges along with much misery and suffering.
We cannot give up. We have been given a role and we are going to play our role. But Life is expressing itself spontaneously without our version of cause and effect. Knowing that, we relax and surrender to the process of living. Without the illusion of “doing,” each moment is unfettered by expectations and anticipations. We begin to see What Is as the Divine Expression – the only expression of Life.
When we stop worrying about what to do next, we are free to notice What Is. We find that What Is is enough. It is perfect and sufficient. The fulfillment that we have always been struggling for has been within our grasp all along. Living Life requires none of striving, struggle, or toil.
What is the purpose of Life? Life itself. How then shall we live? It is happening right now. Have you noticed? Living is happening. Life happens. Forget doing. Become involved in the action of living. They are mutually exclusive. Doing presupposes that Now is not enough. Action is the process of living Life without ever really knowing what will happen next. If that frightens you, perhaps it’s time to question your assumptions. The tragedy of the “doer” is that the action of Life has passed by by the time the “doer” becomes aware of it.
The awakened teacher Byron Katie says in her new book, A Thousand Names for Joy, “The only time you suffer is when you believe a thought that argues with reality.” The “doer” is an argument with reality. “Once you no longer believe your own thoughts, you act without doing anything, because there is no other possibility.”
In the dictionary, action is a noun that is defined by words like exertion, process, or activity. Doing is always defined with an infinitive “to” in front of it. The “to” takes the place of a subject or person that is doing the doing. Being the “doer” brings with it an enormous responsibility. We have to anticipate the coming of each moment. This means we must constantly be projecting ourselves into an imagined future. We must get ready, we must take control, and we must “make it happen.” The illusion of our efforts is that sometimes this does seem to work. Work harder – you make more money, if you are vigilant, you avoid accidents, if you look forward, you see obstacles.
However, the doer lives a miserable life. The doer lives with the illusion of control that the world is run by cause and effect. If we want the kind of life we want, we must constantly be the cause. If things don’t turn out the way we want, we must have failed. Or we resort to saying, “(blank) happens.” Doing requires a “doer” doing the doing. The ego wants to take credit for this doing. We point with pride to our doing. After all, don’t we all believe that, “my doing is better than your doing?” Of course, the illusion of doing collapses when you are run over by a truck or are diagnosed with cancer or your child is killed by a stray bullet. Where was the cause and effect in that?
The illusion of doing ran smack into a road block back in the 80’s. It happened in a Berkley research lab where scientists found that our awareness of doing happens a half second after action has actually started. Literally, what was discovered was that action is taken and then the ego-mind steps up to take credit for the effort.
Try this little experiment. Try to predict the exact moment you will next stand up or sit down or go the kitchen or scratch your elbow. Really analyze the mental process that goes into making an effort to take action at any given time. Unless you love the “doer’s” lie, you will discover even though you planned action or thought about taking it, decision, and action are never simultaneous. What actually happens is that we discover ourselves in the process of taking action. You may have been thinking of getting up or scratching, you may have planned to start the car, but the actual moment of volition cannot be experienced!
Life happens. Life does not need a doer. The doer is an illusion. For all of the enormous head of steam we build up to conquer Life, to control it, to live it, it is all for not. The shoe is on the other foot. The doer is being done, and there is nothing any of us can “do” about it.
Action happens. When we take action, we don’t rehearse, we don’t plan. We don’t anticipate. Action is the spontaneous expression of Life. It will be expressed. Action has an intuitive sense about it once you get the illusion of the “doer” out of the way.
But does that mean we just give up? No, we can’t give up. We are going to do what we do. Action will happen. Life will happen. But what this all does is to put us in a situation where it is no longer quite so serious. Life is an “E” ticket that comes with the illusion of doing. What could be more exciting! When we read a great novel, we become identified with the hero or heroine. Now, that makes for an exciting read. However, we never forget that we are the reader. In Life, we have forgotten who we really are. And in doing so, we have become invested in our version of an outcome. The illusory “doer” emerges along with much misery and suffering.
We cannot give up. We have been given a role and we are going to play our role. But Life is expressing itself spontaneously without our version of cause and effect. Knowing that, we relax and surrender to the process of living. Without the illusion of “doing,” each moment is unfettered by expectations and anticipations. We begin to see What Is as the Divine Expression – the only expression of Life.
When we stop worrying about what to do next, we are free to notice What Is. We find that What Is is enough. It is perfect and sufficient. The fulfillment that we have always been struggling for has been within our grasp all along. Living Life requires none of striving, struggle, or toil.
What is the purpose of Life? Life itself. How then shall we live? It is happening right now. Have you noticed? Living is happening. Life happens. Forget doing. Become involved in the action of living. They are mutually exclusive. Doing presupposes that Now is not enough. Action is the process of living Life without ever really knowing what will happen next. If that frightens you, perhaps it’s time to question your assumptions. The tragedy of the “doer” is that the action of Life has passed by by the time the “doer” becomes aware of it.
The awakened teacher Byron Katie says in her new book, A Thousand Names for Joy, “The only time you suffer is when you believe a thought that argues with reality.” The “doer” is an argument with reality. “Once you no longer believe your own thoughts, you act without doing anything, because there is no other possibility.”
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