I don't know why, but my wife and I have never really been hooked on American Idol, that is until this season. For some reason we really are enjoying watching it each week. One thing that is astonishing is the numbers of low functioning people that show up with the expectation of being advanced in the competition. I didn't have to watch too long before I realized that the traits I was seeing on the screen matched so many people that I see in therapy.
Here are a few of those traits:
A sense of entitlement. It seems that every looser shows up with the expectation that they automatically deserve promotion. It never seems to occur to these people that real talent is something that must be cultivated and worked over a number of years for hours a day - unfailing practice, passion, and self evaluation.
Unrealistic expectations. Success to these people is automatic. It is not a result of hard work, many failures, and paying your dues. All they think they have to do is show up.
No objective view of themselves. The rejects on American Idol honestly think they are good singers when they in fact are bad enough to make the dogs howl. This isn't too different from most of us. We honestly think that our act is pretty special, even as the world turns up it's nose.
American Idol should change its name (at least in the first few weeks) into American Idle since that is what we are seeing. Night after night we see the lowest common denominator show up expecting stardom. Unfortunately I all too often see this in my office. We hold ourselves in such high regard, we cannot see our faults, we do not see how we really come across at all, and we are put off by anyone who tells us differently.
Hostility in the face of honesty. This brings me to my last point. If we don't get what we want from others, high praise in the face of our unrealistic self-evaluation, we simply attack, blame, and discredit the other person. Failure on our part is an excuse to lash out, berate, and belittle those who have not propped up our flagging ego.
Next time you see someone sing like a dog howling and throw a temper tantrum when it is pointed out, ask yourself this question: What must it be like to live, work, or interact with someone like me? Is is possible that any of those traits are on display in my life?
This type of serious self-examination might answer the ultimate question; why didn't I get a ticket to Hollywood?
