I have been wanting to weigh in on this Tiger Woods thing ever since we all read that he was being treated for sex addition. My experience as a therapist give me a very different view on this. I look at it through the lens of my theory on relationships - the Dance of the Lion and the Unicorn.
Infidelity is more often an act of anger than about sex. Tiger Woods is a Unicorn. As such, his sexual acting out has more to do with his viewpoint that he is being pressured and dominated and that someone is "telling him what to do." This is always about a parental relationship that has left an imprint of rage on the young child.
"You can't tell me what to do." What better way to act out than to violate the trust in a relationship. Oh, you asking what has this to do with his wife. Nothing, to the Limbic System, a very primitive emotional part of the brain, the wife is a surrogate for the parent that was demanding and dominating.
So infidelity more often is a way of giving life the finger - over and over again. Without this insight, I am not hopeful that a sexual 12 step program will cure this kind of passive aggressive behavior.
Monday, January 25, 2010
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